So what did we learn this week after the Michael Cohen raid? Oh, that he’s a bagman for Donald Trump. Who knew? Pretty much anyone who’s worked with either of them in the past. And anyone who’s just even looked at Michael Cohen with a passing glance. Does this guy look like a lawyer?
From Day One Cohen looked goofy and seedy. Not much else there. Does he exude White Shoe lawyer to you? Or said anything on television that made you think, “This guy – He should be on the cover of Lawyers Weekly.” I see him on the cover of Prisoners Weekly, or a John Grisham novel.
Cohen is more like the “Scuffed Shoes with Holes in the Soles” lawyer, scurrying between floors at Trump Tower for years. What is he doing outside of Trump’s office? Waiting for a meeting, or stealing glances of his hero? Maybe he’s hoping to get a new mission from the man himself – most likely instructions on who to make his next bank cheque out to. Note, his check. Not Trump’s check, not Trump Organization LLC.’s wire transfer, not David Denison’s money order. Michael Cohen’s check. Or home equity loan. Or a loan out of the 529 college fund account.
Man, it was so much safer in the old days to be a bagman when people actually used bags of cash, huh?
I would tell Michael Cohen to just stick to filing housing deeds and titles. I would, but I can’t – because he’s in court today. Fighting a losing battle to keep all of his client files privileged and confidential.
Yeah, you kinda lose client confidentiality & privilege when you get raided by the F.B.I., Mickey. 
And you should have thought of that while in whatever matchbook cover law school you attended. Or when you started taping your client conversations in your office. Or when Donald Trump spotted you in a dimly lit bar and, against all good advice, said, “No – we can use this guy.” “For what? A scotch drinking contest?” “For later, you’ll see.”
Well, later has come. And you are going to take a huge fall on the balls for the President of the United States and hung out to dry. Trump has sent his worst lawyers money can buy to make sure you take a plea and move right into a prison cell. (Heck, at least you’ll receive better clothes.)
I can’t believe this Cohen guy, just who do you think you are? Yes, New York is a one-party consent state but they did that so they could eavesdrop on Mob Bosses in doctors offices – not so lawyers could leave an audio/(video?) trail of incriminating evidence against the clients they are defending. All the lawyers I have ever worked with over 15 years don’t even write things down!
Because you were so careless and your behavior so unfitting an attorney all your clients’ privilege went out the door in a bankers box wrapped in evidence tape. Wait, careless might be the wrong word here – my apologies – hubris. In defiance of all your limited legal skills, you burned yourself and others by thinking that one day these taped conversations might get you out from under a cloud of blackmail. Or you were planning a stint of blackmail someday yourself.
Because even though you technically ‘won’ today’s legal decision (compelling the prosecution to turn over said seized evidence to the defense to look at) it has already been a week since the 
raid. Someone has already gone through them, dude. Looked through them, scanned them, imaged them, copied them, got coffee stains on them, etc., anyone will still be looking through them while you do. (Do you trust the FBI not to? They have a “taint team’ to do just that. And it leaks.)
I would love to be in that side conference room going through boxes of files from Cohen’s office (and not on the boring ‘taint team’) just to hear Cohen mumbling, “Privileged. Privileged. Privileged,” over and over. And President Trump on speakerphone swearing, “I’m going to send you to Gitmo for this! A lot of people – many many people – said I already should have done that before. Way before this – a long time ago.”
Yes Mr President, I would count myself among them.
Presumably, Cohen spared no expense outfitting his office with the latest 90s technology for recording conversations from his desk and the little settee along the wall used for getting cozy with clients. A nice human touch. What about your phone? Did you have that tapped, too? I’m sure you did, of course!
You’re no dummy, Mickey. So when you hirered that guy to go threaten and intimidate Stormy Daniels and her baby child I’m sure you used a cell phone for that call – or better yet an untraceable burner phone! Oh but you had the conversation in your office didn’t you? You did? That means the Feds will hear you – oh man this is just getting worse and worse, Michael.
So we very well may soon find out who you called to go menace poor Ms Stephanie Clifford, a.k.a., Stormy Daniels (starring in, Taint Team). Yes, I can’t wait for that part-time Gumba to get outed. And before he does I bet he gets to you first, Mickey. I’d rather see Sean Hannity with a gun than a pissed off Mob guy with a score to settle and a shank to shiv.
Michael Avanati calls Michael Cohen, “Radioactive.”
The judge’s ruling today merely delays the prosecution from reviewing the files from the office raid – and could set a dangerous precedent in allowing a defendant to determine what evidence is seizable under a search warrant. As the prosecution explained in their motion today these files were obtained “pursuant to a valid warrant that is supported by probable cause that an attorney has been engaging in criminal activity and that the law offices in question contain evidence of this suspected wrongdoing.”
As the legal defense team goes through them, injunction or not, you know the Feds will also go through them, too. As they say everything is copy, and a copy of all your client files are with the FBI. And we know where the FBI keeps copies of their files: on Hillary’s private server. Safe and sound. Your files will be gushing like a geyser out of the internet…
And here I thought a beautiful adult film actress might bring down the Presidency. But now she has (even more) competition! Cohen himself just might manage to get his most cherished client impeached.
