- The President’s Consigliere Raided by NY Southern District Attorney’s Office
- Does he know he’s a stooge?
- Will he flip like a dolphin on the President?
Who doesn’t like a good FBI raid on a Monday morning? On April 9 the FBI executed a search warrant for Michael Cohen on his leased office at Squire, Patton, Boggs (at 30 Rockefeller, of course) and his hotel room. No house, not surprisingly – he’s a man on the move. Although I am surprised he had a hotel room at the Loews Regency on Park Ave., and not some men’s hostel in the Bronx.
Today might seem like a bad day to pick on the President’s lawyer, but you would be wrong; any day of the year is ripe to pile on. Cohen likes to present himself as the last lawyer you’d want to meet in a courtroom. And he’d have you believe it’s because of his mad legal skills. But if I met him in court I’d think, “Why did they send the benchwarmer for the JV team?” I would feel like the other side wasn’t taking my legal credentials seriously – and I don’t have a JD.
Yet I wouldn’t hesitate to take on The Michael Cohen, what’s he gonna do, yell at me? Threaten me in the parking lot? No – what he would do is leave a paper trail of evidence 3 miles long leading right back to his quivering incriminated-self. This guy walks around like he’s consigliere to the Trump dynasty – which is not the look you want to portray when you represent The President Of The United States! Go play mob lawyer while you’re doing real estate deals, a president deserves better.
And the Trump Team has caught on, I think, a little late in the game, keeping him off the airways since Brianna Keilar made a fool of him on CNN. But the damage has already been done – Cohen is just the legal equivalent to the flailing ski jumper on ABC’s Wide World of Sports. If he’s the “Ray Donovan of the law,” then, that show should be cancelled immediately.
If Michael Cohen doesn’t know that he’s a stooge by now, maybe it will occur to him on day while he’s sitting in a prison cell. Or not. The question now really becomes this: Will he flip on the President? Or will he keep his secrets hidden in him roomy soul, because “this thing of ours” he has with the President is something sacred (to him).
Attorney–client privilege is dead!
— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) April 10, 2018
Should we tell him now that he’s just a patsy?
Cohen is set to take the fall for anything the Trump Dynasty has done in the past, and you can tell this by the way the President talks about him, Maddog Michael The Pitbull Cohen, or whatever. High praise from Donald Trump should not be conspicuous; I think he’s the type of guy that berates you if you’re doing a good job, and gives you nicknames only if he’s about to Tweet-fire you.
Only a cursory review of the L’Affaire Des Stormy tells us how poorly Michael did in Contracts class. He set up a shell company in order to pay-off Ms. Stormy; so far so good. Draws up a non-disclosure agreement for her to sign and then goes ahead and pays her himself. Not smart. Doesn’t have Donald Trump sign it (smart), but then doesn’t even get his alias to sign it! Hmm. And he didn’t see he was being hung out to dry?
If he’s such a good lawyer how in the hell did he not write, “For Services Rendered” on the damn check!? Dude, if you are paying off a porn star (with a check!) make it at least look like an appearance fee! You donkey.
But that’s his problem to not sort out – it’s too late for that. The Southern District of New York now has all of your stuff – all of your files, computers, phones, and emails to everyone. “What emails?” “All of them.” You blowhard.
And since the media is lighting votive candles for President Trump to fire Robert Mueller, don’t hang your hat on that either, Mikey, because this was all executed separate and apart from the Mueller Investigation. Trump fires him, the New York AG still has all your stuff. I can hear them sweeping the floor of your jail cell already.
Sure, paying off people and making problems go away is part of a good lawyer’s job; making a problem just a bigger problem for your client is malpractice. (Perhaps the only kind of law Michael Cohen knows how to practice. Zing!) And I can only imagine how many people Cohen paid to go away and how many other deals he’s bungled. If he knows what’s good for him Cohen should flip like a dolphin.