Bourgeois Jim “Lacoste”

 

Funny how President Donald Trump told the presidente of Mexico (Enrique Peña Nieto) to stop saying Mexico won’t pay for the Border Wall – and he did.  This is supposed to be more egg on the President’s face – tossed by CNN and the Washington Post – but is it really? I haven’t heard Enrique singing about that Finca Wall lately, have you? Who ever listened to Obama – aside from millions of crazy Democrats hanging on his every “Uhhh,”? What behavior did he stop by crying about it or whining to Congress about? The Great Persuader he was not.

Angry Acosta

I had actually forgotten about The Wall and this morning I realized I kind of missed it, just tossed out of the newscycle months ago collecting dust in the corner of the editing room. The populace and our benevolent rulers are salivating over healthcare, travel bans, and now immigration reform — so much better than the travel ban won’t you say?

Who knows when the Finca Wall will break ground (better be deep ground. Yeah we mean you, El Chapo!) along the outskirts of that bedroom community of Finca, Texas. But the new Immigration Reform, that will go on for weeks! Thanksgiving conversation is about filled now.

The Reforming American Immigration for a Strong Economy Act (or RAISE) story has legs. Jim Acosta (nothing delicate about him mind you) is – sigh – well, he’s just simply Jim Acosta. I’m not wasting an adjective on him he really doesn’t deserve that much brain cells from me.

Jim “Lacoste” is certain this is engineering the racial and ethnic makeup of the United States. What? How did your reptilian brain even come up with that, before even hearing the loquacious arguments for, by Chief Policy Advisor Steven Miller? (RAISE is a Senate bill, by the way; the idle hands never laid a print on this before yesterday.) Ethnic-makeup engineering has some sinister 1930’s ring to it (or, Balkans circa 1990). But we know that’s what you were going for, Cosmo.

Asking immigrants to speak a little bit of English isn’t that evil on the face of it as it sounds. In order to gain citizenship you have to take a test – History and Grammar! (No math, yet.) Why can’t you think of it as moving the test up a little in the process, instead of spouting off racially-charged nonsense first? Is it because you know the racially-charged stuff will be played over and over again on TV? You are a ham aren’t you, Jim? They brought the cameras back into the White House press briefings just in time didn’t they, Lacoste?

Nice try — but can you name any person place or thing that doesn’t have some kind of standard it tries to attain and uphold. Restaurants and bars have dress codes, seedy bars and hotels don’t let in some potential clientele (based on their looks alone in some cases!); and should we include schools or who that blow up your argument too much?
Let’s let everyone into the Ivy League schools, why not right? Talk about ethnic engineering; ask one of those bastions of WASP privilege who they let in (and who they want to let in). Please, do a story on it and just take the whole system down. Funny I don’t think you would be so proud to send your kids to a “prestigious school” if it no longer had the prestige.

Is the United States just not prestigious? That shining city on a hill is now a run-down amusement park so we should just start handing out free tickets? How many tired, poor and huddled masses are already living in this country of ours?

None, according to Bourgeois Jim. Don’t turn out the lights yet, America, there are more to be saved! And we have plenty of vacancies!

Miller rightly pointed out the “cosmopolitan bias” that Lacoste holds dear. Jim gets in everywhere he wants too, restaurants, 5-star hotels, 10-star motels, and he’s never had too many cosmopolitans to preclude him from entering a bar near closing time. The world is his shining oyster.

But plenty of fine drinking establishments have told me to get lost after sensing I’ve had 12 too many whiskey shots – who do these barkeeps think they are engineering the booze intake of this fine upstanding citizen? That’s another thing you can’t have too many of: Drinks. It’s legislated by law; Federal and State. When drinks are sold, where they can be sold, where you can drink, out of a plastic container if you are outside, inside only of you are in a bar, no glass bottles at any event where people might get hit by it when you throw it, I could go on. But why be redundant about something so obvious to legislate like liquor, when clearly Jim doesn’t drink as much as I can, and just doesn’t see the point of legislating something so divisive as a population in a country?

Any argument would be a total waste of my time, time better spent studying for academic standards exams or putting on a jacket and tie to go out to eat. And all that is well and good to have in a country. Citizens living in a country provide character, the character of a country lends to its culture; culture and values give people a shared sense of purpose to uphold the character and culture they’ve built up over time.

And when it comes to adding to that country let’s just throw out all the qualifications, forget about them; someone’s perceived standards just hold someone else back; nothing more than a big red ethnic Stop sign; racial engineering by someone with a dog whistle. Hey can’t make it in your own country? Then come to America! Send us your angry, your poor, your huddled miscreants. Can’t open up a sex-trafficking tanning salon in Europe? Well why didn’t you say so, come on in! Put it right next to Jim Acosta’s house, he will thank you for it.

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About the Author

William Cunningham is an Intellectual Property and Financial Services professional. He had a 15 year career at Thomson Reuters in the IP, Trademark and Copyright division, as well as the Global Financial Markets and Risk business unit. He lives in Massachusetts with his dog Winston-Montgomery.

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